Mumy in heaven there!

 In Memory of My Mother, 9th October 2002: 1.06 pm

 

She left my warm hands; I felt her coldness on 9th the second week of October 2002. The day that made me Motherless!

That morning, I asked whether she would try to eat some fresh beans from our first harvest. She told me she didn’t want anything. I have come to learn that when an elder in the home is about to leave, a lot of signs come by, but we seldom know them. That season we had a lot of yields, and we harvested plenty of proceeds from our small gardens. The food stayed home for months after her death.

After declining to taste the beans, she instead told me she wasn’t feeling her right side from the right ear to the right leg. She told me she was feeling weak and didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t know what this meant, I just thought she was paralyzed, and so I picked a towel and an ointment to massage her. It’s recently that I got to learn that Mumy, first suffered a partial death from one side.

Soon after the massage, she starts looking at me, while crying.  She says, “do not be worried that your sister is not here, I am sorry I haven’t taken you to the school you wished to attend” she adds, “all that I have is yours, I don’t have much to give you, my clothes and things you see around are yours my daughter, but above all, I have given you my heart, my soul, please look after your siblings”

She knew it was not going to be easy for me. She would later hand over a Rosary to me, and a crucifix which was a sign of her entrusting me to the Lord for my future. At this moment I still didn’t understand why she was doing all this.

This was morning time. She would usually go for Morning mass when she was healthy, so we could do our morning prayers with her instead when she fell sick, since she could not attend church anymore. Our prayers soothed her inner being and comforted her as she fought for her life.

She was a strong choir member at our parish. She also led in various positions of the lay apostolate. She was also in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal and a leader. She led me to Jesus Christ since I was a child like any good mother would. So she asked me to sing for her a song, “Singa Yezu” meaning Reign Jesus, usually sung during Holy Communion in the Catholic Church. I sung it for her several times before a grand mother who was a Catechist came by to our home that morning.

Most times she would receive Holy Communion from home when a priest or Catechist visited. These did visit our home frequently and I thank God for them, mumy died with a fulfilled spirit and that is why I shall always emulate her deeds in faith. I will always pray and celebrate Holy Communion all my life. Nothing shall separate me from my Jesus as that I got as an inheritance from my Mother.

So grandmother came by and she asked me to escort her to the a certain garden closer to our house. My fears started from here. She asked me to hold myself and be a woman that Mumy would be proud of at any cost. So she breaks the news of her night dream of Mumys death that day. She tells me she had a dream that Mumy would transit to the next world that day, 9th October 2002.

Grandma told me she was going to collect Holy Communion from the parish to give to Mumy. So she asked me to keep this secret, and not to tell anyone. I was such a young girl at 13, being told to keep such a secret and hold myself strong. She asked me to go find a strong cloth and tie my stomach I guess to hold my heart from the coming pain. And asked me to organize the house, arrange things and lock important things in one room. This was hard as people in the house would see me carrying bags, but I kept silent. I did all secretly and when they asked, I said I was just doing general cleaning, since it was a public holiday, I was just home.

Time came and grandma arrived a few minutes past midday. She was a catechist, so she led a service. In the service we all received Holy Communion. When the time came for Mummy to receive Jesus, her teeth were already hard. I recalled she said she wasn’t feeling herself on one side. So, we opted to dissolving the Blessed Sacrament into a fluid Mummy often took. This was my first time in life to become a Eucharistic Minister, I served Jesus Christ to my dying Mother!!!!

She would not drink on her own, so I always assisted her to serve her. I would sit and she would lean by my young body to eat or drink. So, I held her like a baby on my baby laps and started to serve her with Jesus in the juice. She was weak and couldn’t speak. So, I begged her that her Jesus was here, and she needed to receive him with love. She had refused to eat anything since morning but on hearing Jesus was here, she opened her mouth, and I served her. Meanwhile, the catechist was in deep prayer as I was serving Mumy. I wonder why she didn’t serve her herself, or ask any other elder around, but let me do it as she entered into intercession.

Soon after the last drop of the Juice was done. I heard Mumy coughing.  My father said it was cough and that I should bring medicine for cough so we could administer it to her.  Mother was dying at this time, but I had no idea and neither did my father notice as well. This was my first time to see someone transiting.  I ran brought the drug from the other room and started serving mumy while holding her on my baby laps. She could not open her mouth anymore; her teeth were very hard and her body cold. I tried to forcefully open her mouth in vain, covered her to get warmth in vain. I tried to serve her the drug but whatever I would put into her mouth would come out instantly.

My heart sank in confusion, but I kept doing what came into my mind. A certain grandmother was in the house watching as I struggled to help mumy. In fact, her mother was also present, but could hardly help, she had left Mumy to her father at a tender age, so they had not much relationship. So, the other grandmother sensed something bad had happened. I kept on holding mumy trying to give her cough drugs when this old woman said “you go away, the person is dying”

At this moment I don’t recall what happened next! I didn’t see my mother until today. I don’t know where she went, why she didn’t say bye to me very well and why she left me at a tender age! So many questions but no answers!

I pin this experience because it’s one way I am trying to heal from the shock of losing a mother at a tender age. It has been a painful 22 years of not seeing you Mumy, life has never been the same and will never be the same again.

In heaven there, you forever remain my guardian angel, you fight for me battles I can never imagine, you have walked with me all these years alongside with the heavenly angels, and forever you will. I bear a special relationship with you, and forever, I will. Not seeing your sweet face, hearing your voice especially at this special period of my next journey in life, I needed your love, care, counsel and needed to show you something special, alas, you are not here My love. Rest with the Angels, I believe I have made you proud.

Mumy, a virtuous Woman, all people acclaim her as blessed. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all Mummy.” Proverbs 31:28. Atwooki, your absence is a silent grief, your life and deeds are a beautiful memory to guide us. You are forever in our hearts!

Rest in peace Mumy wange! You will never be replaced. Your memories and stories you shared with me remain fresh each day, especially the 9^th October brings back the memories of your untimely transition. In heaven there, Mumy pray for me.