Mother’s last wish!

 

As I write my book, #The Heroine in Me, I want to take a moment and share my last moments with My Mother today as I remember her in a special way, details will be in the book!

The morning of 9th October 2002 was not like the normal days. I woke up terribly weak, my young brothers woke up to collect firewood from our garden at our grandparents home over 5 Kilometres from our home, as I remained home minding my ailing Mother. Mother had suffered with an ailment for two years and the pain was too much, that I cried as I watched her strain and struggle for her life!

 

She told me, I got a vision, your Mother will be called to Heaven today (9th October 2002). As the elder sister at home you have got to gather yourself, tie your waist with a strong wrapper, keep in prayer, gather everything that is valuable in the house into one room and don't tell anyone. Let me go back to the Parish (Church) and collect the Blessed Sacrament so I give her Jesus to accompany her. A catechist and prayer group Member in my Mother's prayer group sat me down in the garden near our home told me....on the morning that Mother would breathe her very last. I had no option but to be strong. From that day till now, these words linger in my mind, I gathered strength that has seen me become the woman that I am today!

 

On that fateful day, Mother had told me, “My daughter (and I miss hearing this voice), I feel very weak and it's seems my right side of the body is not responding”, she had suffered partial paralysis in the last hours to her demise. She added, “I can't feel my right ear down to the right leg”.....I told her no Mumy, rest you would feel them once you have rested enough.

 

I asked whether I should make her a meal, as I had just noticed our first harvest of green beans was getting ready so I wanted to hand pick some, and make a fresh harvest meal for her. She said she didn't want to eat. She instead asked me to sing for her a Rutooro Holy Communion Church Song.....Singa Yezu! (Reign Jesus) I sung this song for her several times…..only to see her crying.

 

She called me, “My daughter Olive, don't worry, I am dying, all I have, I have given to you, my heart, everything I am, I have given to you. Look after your siblings. Do not forget to pray and work hard” This was Mother’s last wish to me!

Meanwhile, as years pass, and as I continue to reflect, I feel it was such a precious moment I had having been the last person she had a conversation with before her death. I didn't understand the meaning of this statement until recently when my Sister told me...I was handed over a cross and had to carry it to Calvary like My Jesus did.

In that conversation, I never knew that Mother was passing on most of her roles to me by these words. I became a mother to my siblings right from her death, I minded my siblings food, wear, and upbringing since I was at home. Even after my university education, I still see my role in closing the gap Mother left to care and support my siblings, basic needs. I thank God who has enabled me to do this work without compromise, everyone would wonder how a 13 year African girl would take over such a responsibility, but with determination and blessings from my Mother, I did!

 

My elder sister, was in a boarding school and did not get to be with Mother in her last days, but spent special moments with her each time she came home for holidays. Whereas our elder brother had gone for school discussions, as he was nearing his senior four final examinations. Meanwhile, following Doctor’s recommendations, Daddy and uncle had sent for a medicine from Kampala, sadly the nurse who brought the medicine came late! She didn't find her friend. They were great friends with Mother!

 

So, a few minutes passed as I had held the conversation with Mother, the Catechist came, found us singing for Mother and started a service. We sat in the living room where Mother slept and started the prayers. In my community those days, sick family members, and mothers that had given birth were transferred to the living room to ease access by visitors who came to see the patients, however, to some point, I have come to learn that most of the people who were transferred to the living rooms, never survived the sicknesses! I wonder whether this was not a sort of send-off thing!

 

As the prayers went by, we received Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, and it was time to serve Mother her sweet Friend, Jesus. She would not eat as her teeth had gotten stuck from the partial paralysis she had told me about in the morning.

 

So the only way we would help her receive Holy Communion would be mixing it with juice. Which we did and I was asked to help her using a spoon. The first time I ever became a Eucharist Minister in my life was when I was serving my dying Mother. She had refused to eat anything since morning, however, when I asked her...Mother your Jesus is here, please open your mouth and receive him! Miraculously, she opened her mouth and I served her part of the Juice.

 

Now the moment that would never leave my mind came, her death! as I supported her sit to receive the last portion of the juice with Jesus, I heard my Jewel, my Life, My Mother, my Best friend, my Cheerleader, my Darling, my Everything....my Mother Coughing!!

 

My father just like me, didn't understand what happens when a person is dying. We both said maybe its cough, I went brought medicine for cough, a syrup that we kept in the house. Our home had become a drug shop of a kind those days.

 

So, I brought the medicine for cough and started administering it to Mother through a spoon as I supported her sit on bed with difficulty.......but the medicine was not going, the teeth were again stuck, so I tried to open her mouth to help her receive the cough syrup. It was difficult to adjust her teeth! At this moment, I couldn't understand what exactly was happening only for my grandmother who was sitting by the chair to tell us ..the person is going!  So the elderly people asked me to step aside, and they started organizing Mother’s remains and she was gone!

Before that, something happened that was strange to me. As we administered the Blessed Sacrament to Mother, the Catechist suddenly started praying vigorously in tongues. I kind of forgot what I was told that something was going to happen. Me I thought it was cough, and I was working hard to treat it.

She died in my arms at 1:06 at age 13.  At this moment, I saw the world ending! My Love had gone! Everything suddenly changed. The person I used to share stories with was no more! I feared her bedroom, the living room and the entire home. From that day, I suffered from "fear" that would only be healed through prayer and constant meditation, acceptance that she had gone, 10 years later!

 

Meanwhile, my little brothers had not returned from collecting firewood by the time Mother breathed her last. As they came back from the garden, Community members saw them carrying the wood, only to tell them, their Mother was no more!

 

Mother had taught us Jesus, while we were children. I remember one day as she taught us how to dig, I injured myself and hurt my leg. I started crying and she told me, “Everything that happens to us, GOD knows about it. Don't cry as you are inviting the devil to use your pain to hurt you more…Instead say...Thank you Jesus, praise you Jesus for this pain. May your Holy name be praised” It was very difficult to say these words but I said them in pain. So, along the way, we all learnt to say these words each time pain came our way…

 

Now, as the boys heard the news, with their wood on their heads, they said....”Thank you Jesus, Praise you Jesus, you gave us and you have taken back your daughter. May your Holy name be praised” A gentleman who escorted the boys’ home...narrated this story! Everyone was shocked at how Mother had prepared us mostly by teaching us faith in the Lord. It was so touching for young boys of 6 and 8 years respectively to have such a high degree of faith, courage and reason.

 

From this experience, I have learnt that, parents ought to prepare children for any situation. My Mother had very limited time with us on earth, but in the thirteen years I spent with her, she taught me life! She exposed me to all sorts of experiences that would later make me the Woman I am today.

 

I will dedicate most part of the remaining October to share lessons from My thirteen years with My Mother!

 

To my Mother in Heaven, I know that, at this hour, you left us physically, but have remained with us in spirit. I want to thank you for being Mother to us. We thank God for your life on earth, for you lived it purposefully, played your roles, and went back to our Father, that is the destiny for us all. Today, we remember you in a special way and I want to pay you the highest tribute Mother!

 

Mother, thank you for always loving me and guiding me. Even though you are no longer here with me I can still feel your love guiding me. You are always in my heart. I love you and miss you dearly. Mother, you will forever remain everything to me, and more, and there's no way I could ever quantify the importance you hold in my life.

 

Maama, Rest in Peace! (expect more pieces in my book, #TheHeroineinMe)